momma is completely in love

I can't stop smiling today. I had my first prenatal appointment today and we got to see our baby. It looks like a tiny 1 inch blob in the ultrasound picture but I am totally smitten. The doctor was pointing out arms and legs which I didn't see at all. We could see the heart flickering away though. She said it was beating around 160bpm. Wow. Having the ultrasound made it seem real finally. Ever since taking a pregnancy test I've had this fear of going to the doctor and having them tell me that I'm not actually pregnant. That was my main reason for not wanting to tell everyone yet. Possibly irrational but I can't help that. All I want to do is look at that picture and when I'm not I miss my baby. It's weird to miss something that is growing inside of you but I just want to look at him/her all of the time. I'm completely in love with my baby and it makes all these weeks of feeling miserable worth it.

Surprise!

Almost 2 weeks ago I found out I am going to be a mommy. This is what I've dreamed of for as long as I can remember. There's even a picture of me, somewhere around the age of 2, nursing one of my dollies. I know it is a desire that God instilled in me at a very young age. I'm not as excited as I thought I would be but I think I'm still a bit in shock and disbelief. I'd always assumed that it would take a long time for me to get pregnant (not sure why!) but it happened right away. We had said that whatever happens in the next couple of months is fine so I guess we weren't really even "trying". Pat is taking comps in May/June and he really didn't want to have the stress of having a baby while taking a huge test that determines whether he gets to stay in school or not. Can't say that I blame him. Our original plan was to wait to start trying until October so that we would, Lord willing, have a baby sometime after comps were done. Well, I got major baby fever. Pat came home one night and I was waiting on him hand and foot (I promise there were no ulterior motives!) and he said something like "You're being extra nice tonight. Do you want a baby???" Of course my answer was always going to be yes to that question. We figured having a baby the early part of next could work so that's how it all started. I never thought it would happen so soon so I was a little taken off guard by a positive pregnancy test. I don't have my first doctors appointment until the 26th so I'm a little unsure of whether we should start announcing it to our families yet or not. There doesn't seem to be a right or wrong answer to this question and I can't really ask anyone that I know without giving it away. So far the only symptoms I've had are major gas pains and some nausea. I bought a chef salad at work the other day and only ate half and probably won't be eating another anytime soon. I don't think I've been eating as much lately since it takes about 3 minutes before I feel all bloated. Pat has been amazing. He's doing all sorts of research and being so loving when I don't feel well. The other day he cleaned the kitchen, made dinner and went to the grocery store. So awesome. He got me some yogurt and told me he wants me to eat it in hopes that his baby will be like Michael Weston. Oh Patrick, I love you.